Thursday, March 26, 2009

Packing up

So it's 11:00 pm, about an hour past my usual bedtime. Because I am up right now, I really should be studying the drugs effecting the autonomic nervous system, or working a write-up on my patient from clinicals....but I'm taking a break because I have finally been inspired to jot down some thoughts into the blog.

Tomorrow, we get the key for Ryan and I to move into our first house. Tonight I returned home from class, got some quick food in our bellies, and packed up the last boxes for the big move. As this was going on...it really hit me that I have been here for almost a year. I tried to return myself to the shoes I was in about 11 months ago and was truly in awe of how much I have grown........so a walk down memory lane........................

Last year at this time, I was packing up to move to Tucson, AZ. I was battling pneumonia and was more sick than I had ever been in my life I think. I remember during that time pretending that I was 100% prepared and fully aware of what I was doing. In all honesty, I didn't. Packing up my life, moving across the country with no guarenteed nursing school, job, or anything was pretty bold. All I had was Ryan and some nursing prerequisites. I was pretty unaware of the workings of a credit card, had never really lived in a city before, and was extremely dependent on those around me. I was totally oblivious.

The entire trip to Tucson were some of the most memorable days between Ryan and I which we will forever look back on and cherish. One would THINK that a drive across America in a U-Haul with their significant other would be an interlude to domestic disputes and pure craziness. However, Ryan and I had a blast. It was like a vacation for us. Except a vacation lasting a lifetime.

My first days in Tucson were ones of apprehension. Finding a job wasn't as easy as perceived. And then I found out U of A weren't accepting new nursing students for awhile. I began to wonder if I made the wrong decision. So I cried. And cried some more. Annnd....sulked a little more in my tears. Until the best friend/love-of-my-life/guardian angel Ryan had a good long talk with me and made me realize that life can't always work according to the perceived plan. Now, if you KNOW Ryan...this is extremely out-of-character for him. But he was right.

After that talk; I wiped the tears away, put my smile on, and decided to make some lemonade out of the lemons life had given me. With the help of Ryan's research, and some long afternoons of calling around and putting together my transcripts...I found a nursing school that seemed like a good deal and things began to look up!

Last time I was packing up my boxes to move...I was immature, unsure of what I wanted to do with my career, completely dependent on others, and utterly oblivious to my environment. However, within the year...this time around I am now full-blown into nursing school doing great, have a total understanding of my career path, engaged to be married, ........and am fully aware of the workings of a credit card ;) I am the most happy and healthy I have ever been in my life and I say that with true confidence. I have learned in this past year that sometimes we really do need to not only get our feet wet--but just go ahead and jump in the water. Making bold decisions and taking chances has really made me grow and mature. And I couldn't be happier. :)