Friday, October 26, 2012

Now and Then

One of the biggest struggles I've always faced is letting my concern and worry for what's to come, affect my current state of mind. I got in that run this week, and am giving myself an offical swift kick in the you-know-what to snap out of that!

I've been distracted lately. A lot of big changes face my future - and although they are exciting changes. All change comes with some form of compromise.

As some of you husband got a pilot spot with the Air Force, and will be starting training in January. The 1st 5 months, he will cycle through being gone 6 weeks, home for a few, gone 6 weeks, home for a few. Then in June, he moves to Mississippi for 13 months for UPT school -- where he officially trains on the jets. (But will then return to Tucson :D)

Here are the options I have:

a) Stay in Tucson. Keep my job that I love. Man the house solo. Live on the completely other side of the country from my husband and best friend. Miss out on a huge part of his life. Every person we've talked to that has been through this urges the pilots to bring their spouses, as it's a very exciting (yet stressful) experience that you should live together. But keep the stability that I've found here in Tucson. It's just a year!

b) Move to Mississipppi for just 1 year. (It's only a year, and I love adventure -- and this would certainly be an adventure). Be with Ryan for that year supporting him, meet new people, really experience being an "Air Force Wife". Become a Southern Bell for 13 months.. Find a nursing job in whichever department will take me. Probably lose my ER position in Tucson. Have to lock up our house for a year, and find someone trustworthy to check up on it periodically. But won't have to spend $$$$$ on airline tickets out to Columbus, MS.

Outweighing the positives and the negatives isn't really easy here. Because there are positives and negatives within each decision! What does my heart want to do? Go to Mississippi. What does my brain want to do? Stay grounded in Tucson. I'm scared of losing a job that I love. But I'm also scared of the toll it would take on our marriage to be living in different states (by choice) for 1 year.

Life is full of mysteries, that is for certain! I know that whichever decision I make....will work! I tend to strive to be "like a cat" in life, and no matter how tall the building is I'm thrown from, I tend to land on "all fours". (that's my little metaphor). Just wish I knew the right decision!

Send happy vibes my way! Have you ever had to make a decision like this? How did you come to making the choice? Did you follow your heart or your head?