Friday, October 26, 2012

Now and Then

One of the biggest struggles I've always faced is letting my concern and worry for what's to come, affect my current state of mind. I got in that run this week, and am giving myself an offical swift kick in the you-know-what to snap out of that!

I've been distracted lately. A lot of big changes face my future - and although they are exciting changes. All change comes with some form of compromise.

As some of you husband got a pilot spot with the Air Force, and will be starting training in January. The 1st 5 months, he will cycle through being gone 6 weeks, home for a few, gone 6 weeks, home for a few. Then in June, he moves to Mississippi for 13 months for UPT school -- where he officially trains on the jets. (But will then return to Tucson :D)

Here are the options I have:

a) Stay in Tucson. Keep my job that I love. Man the house solo. Live on the completely other side of the country from my husband and best friend. Miss out on a huge part of his life. Every person we've talked to that has been through this urges the pilots to bring their spouses, as it's a very exciting (yet stressful) experience that you should live together. But keep the stability that I've found here in Tucson. It's just a year!

b) Move to Mississipppi for just 1 year. (It's only a year, and I love adventure -- and this would certainly be an adventure). Be with Ryan for that year supporting him, meet new people, really experience being an "Air Force Wife". Become a Southern Bell for 13 months.. Find a nursing job in whichever department will take me. Probably lose my ER position in Tucson. Have to lock up our house for a year, and find someone trustworthy to check up on it periodically. But won't have to spend $$$$$ on airline tickets out to Columbus, MS.

Outweighing the positives and the negatives isn't really easy here. Because there are positives and negatives within each decision! What does my heart want to do? Go to Mississippi. What does my brain want to do? Stay grounded in Tucson. I'm scared of losing a job that I love. But I'm also scared of the toll it would take on our marriage to be living in different states (by choice) for 1 year.

Life is full of mysteries, that is for certain! I know that whichever decision I make....will work! I tend to strive to be "like a cat" in life, and no matter how tall the building is I'm thrown from, I tend to land on "all fours". (that's my little metaphor). Just wish I knew the right decision!

Send happy vibes my way! Have you ever had to make a decision like this? How did you come to making the choice? Did you follow your heart or your head?


Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Good luck making your decision, Abs. I am sure you have lots of people giving you advice, but it's a decision you'll have to make and then 'own' and let's be honest - probably defend. I know that whatever you do, you will make it work. I am sure mom has wonderful insight for you having been through something similar when dad was in the navy. I have heard that there is a wonderful sense of community among the military wives, so if you opt to move, I think you will make friends fast!

Marlys said...

This is a very hard decision, but I guess I would vote for "Follow your heart"! If in the end you decide you should stay in Tucson, we will support you in any way we can! It is not easy to leave your home that you love so much, but equally very difficult to be away from your life partner! Of course, you know my suggestion - PRAY PRAY PRAY! Someone has your best interest at heart and he's bigger than life! ;)

Amber said...

That is a super hard decision!! Eeep! I don't know what I would do. Good luck with making your decision!

iris said...

Ugh, major life-altering decisions. Those can be terrifying! Usually, just making that decision sooner rather than later will help, provided you're actually making the decision the best that you can with the information you have at the time.

Mama Nastase said...

Your sister is right; you're going to have to "own" your decision (and unfortunately) "defend" it. Whatever you and Ryan decide will be the right choice! Also, I hope you find me and your father-in-law to be trustworthy enough to check in on your home if you choose to go with Ryan! ;) I also agree with your mom...pray, pray, pray!

Journey Authentically said...

I just found your blog via Lisa's and I would guess that you've already made your decision---it's an incredibly hard one to make. My input is based on being a former milspouse. I left my family and everything I knew to move to rural Louisiana to be with my new husband who was stationed there. It was about 18 months--the marriage wasn't what I hoped it would be (from same town, same friends, but it was a quick courtship due to distance, etc) but I can honestly say that the experience shaped me. If the marriage had been better, the experience would have been amazing and even more worth it. I didn't leave a job I loved, I was straight out of grad school again and it was a struggle for me to find a position I enjoyed at first. However the friends made there are for life regardless of how different we are (there's a bond that you can't match when it comes to milspouses) and even though I'm from the PNW, I will always have a heart for the south (& the constant sunshine!). The opportunities for travel abounded. On the contrast, knowing what I know now, sometimes I DO wish I would have stayed here and just flown down for a long weekend every month--our marriage wouldn't have been any better but I would have had a jump start here. If you're willing to give up the job (knowing that you can rent the house and that you can work your way back into the same position), then I think I would tell you to do it---experience it, live it, enjoy it----because some opportunities only come around once. And I think it also depends on where your marriage is....would it be better or worse to go? Would it strengthen it more or less to stay? Recognizing that he's going to be incredibly busy, stressed, and you might be out of your element. Always an opportunity to grow closer. Sorry for the lengthy response! :) Best of luck. The rural south is def an experience but with lots of great charms in its own right! I could say more but I'll stop clogging your comment feed :)