Monday, July 27, 2009

Extraordinary Marital Advice

The wedding in approaching us so quickly, and finding focus on anything else that is not wedding related has been a real challenge! This week is a big one. In fact, there are about 300 things I should be doing right now other than writing a blog. I have an Operating Room clinical Tuesday, Exam on Wednesday, a 4 hour lab simulation Thursday, 3 hour lecture, and then I leave at 6:30 am Friday to go home for the big day!!!

However, I cannot help but reflect on the past year, and all the astonishing, new, blunt, and peculiar, and sometime wise nuptial advice Ryan and I have received.

Maybe some of you will find these good pieces of advice? Some may laugh. Some may cry. I often walked away feeling very confused. For in my experience, when someone has told me that they are engaged to be married--my response has always been a positive one saying something like "Wow! Congratulations for you guys! When is the big day? What wonderful news you have!!!"

Instead...here is some of the "wisdom" people have had to offer. (Now let me get this clear that these are not endearing relatives or close friends. These pieces of advice are from random strangers)....Enjoy:

"The water is warm. Jump right in" (Not so bad. A little cynical, but I can smile at it)

"HOW OLD ARE YOU??? OH YOU ARE JUST STUPID! HA! GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE" (My response: Thank you!!! I'll be sure to pass that one on to my fiance!")

"Don't do it. I have been divorced 3 times. I know everything there is to know about marriage. Been through it all....3 times in fact! It's not what it's cracked up to be!!" (This was a piece of advice from my clinical instructor. Hm...have you ever wondered that maybe the fact you've been divorced 3 times has something to do with YOUR PERSONALITY?!?! :D)

*2 weeks before leaving, informing our neighbor we are going home for a few weeks to get married* "Are you sure wanna do it? You're really doin' it huh. Well, if you have a kid together....maybe the best parent win" (How enlightening.......)

"Good luck, Ryan. Say goodbye to her packing your lunches, making breakfast, and being nice. Women turn into the devil when they get married." (Once again...how enlightening.....)



Now on the positive note........

We have had many wonderful family members, friends, and great relatives tell us some of the greatest advice. This is the only advice we take to heart. I just don't understand why anyone would give such a strong opinion, or put such a negative aura on a nice soon-to-be-wed couple.

So next time you hear of someone being newly engaged....rethink what you say before opening your mouth. It will save you from looking like a negative, ignorant, dumbass.

"Communication is everything!" (had to throw that one in there....since we have heard it 110982734098713 times now...It must mean something! ;)

5 comments:

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Ha!! That is interesting. I think some people are just so unhappy, they want to rain on other people's happiness!!

The communication is everything is probably the best advice you'll receive. I obviously can't give you any advice since I'm not married, but communication was definitely the stumbling block in my relationships! Obviously you & Ryan don't have a problem with it though!!

Can't wait for your big day!! :)

Ashley Gerner said...

HAH! I just can't understand some people and they cease to amaze me...especially when they think they're helping!!
My marital advice...just be happy! Take everything in stride, learn what's worth letting go and what's worth standing your ground and fighting for. That, and always remember what got you two to where you are, love! So don't forget to show it in the "little" things you do!
I've noticed that the "advice" doesn't stop once your married..."it's ALWAYS the husbands fault" (got that little charmer from my boss...who also has been married 3 times!) "Oh, they're newlyweds, they still actually like each other!" Wow! Can't wait for that to wear off?!?
You two are going to be so happy together! From the little I know of Ryan, and the quite a bit more I know of you...you're going to LOVE married life! :)
Enjoy your last few days engaged! :) Love you!

Mama Nastase said...

My wise pre-wedding advice to you would be...when you encounter strangers, pretend you speak a foreign language unknown to the stranger. Make up your own. This will baffle them and confuse them, rendering them unable to give you rude, unsolicited advice.

Oh, and capture these encounters on video, for the amusement of your friends and family. ;)

Love your great sense of humor!

Marlys said...

Well, Abby, I bet you can guess what I'm going to tell you, can't you? Be sure to include a third person in your marriage - always! God! And then the three of you should work together, play together, and talk to each other as much as you can - and don't forget to listen! We have almost been married for 40 years and it seems like just yesterday that we walked down the aisle! Will there be difficult days? Yes. Will there be joyful days - Yes, yes, yes! Get ready for the ride of your life with your best friend!

Momma Bear said...

Abby, before taking advise...look who it comes from. Like Lisa said, there are those who are unhappy and want others to be just as unhappy.

Your mother is correct...there are three in your marriage and He will always be a good listener and advisor!

Love you