Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Honeymoon...Part 2

Okay, so my previous post told of the amazing beautiful sites we saw. The relaxation we enjoyed. And the elegant romance we experienced.

Now, this may come across negative--but please trust me, this is not negativity. I thrive off of this stuff......Watching people. A couple's only resort in a different country is like a MUSEUM for a people watcher who loves to analyze....

So let's start with our first morning out on the pool/beach....

Now, for background information--Abby is sheltered girl when it comes to culture. I was born in North Dakota, raised in North Dakota...and my heart continues to live within the good, Catholic family Values.

We arrive to the pool, We are getting set up at our chairs..and I look left and there "it" is. I don't know what to do when I see "it". Do I scream? Vomit? Cry? Run away? Let "it" know?

You are probably wondering what this "it" is...Well "it" was a picture of something I hope to never become. "It" was the largest, most "Magda-Tanned", droopy, saggy, pendoulous breasts I have ever seen in my life!!!!! A woman in her late-40's decided the string bikini just wasn't enough for her Melanoma-Worthy tanning experience. The knockers has to get a little (lot) sun too! All my manners go out the door, and my immediate reaction is "Ryan! Oh my god..we can't sit here. Oh my god. Look!!!!!"

Ryan wasn't as freaked out or riled us as myself. He just calmly said, "Yep, that's nasty. Welcome to a Couple's Only resort in Mexico, Babe."

It only gets worse, when I right and see another "it"!!! Suddenly, it was like an epiphany came over me. When I looks around the entire pool deck. Boobs were everywhere!!! Nothing phased these woman! And the scariest part is that nothing phased their husbands!! I cannot imagine just ripping off my top, on a romantic honeymoon trip, for the whole world to see my breasts... In ADDITION to that thought...I can't imagine beint in my late-40's, with sagging pendolous breasts, showing myself to the entire resort!

Anyways. There were people in swimming suits too. I would say about 25% of the woman at the resort were topless though. How odd. I am probably incredibly sheltered. But this was the thoughts going through my mind often during the course of our trip.

I also was lucky to analyze couples. I could write an entire book on this. I saw more Sugar Daddy's then I knew even existed. When I say "Sugar Daddy"...I should really say "Suga' Grandpas" Men with completely white hair, smoking old pipes, wrinkles and melanoma lesions on the skin....arms around their 20-something wife with exquisite boob-jobs and donned in a different ornate bikini every day.

I once again had to put myself in their shoes, of course. I thought to myself. "What would my parents say if Ryan was 75. And I brought him home with news we were married." "What if I had to get up every morning, go for my work out and get home in time to make his Metamucil shake, give him his cup 'o' Werther's Originals, pass him his morning blood-pressure medications, and get him in his chair to watch Fox News and the History channel." What an odd life.

I explained these scenarios and observations in excessive detail to Ryan throughout our honeymoon. There were times where Ryan laughed, times where he frowned, and times where he just said, "Babe, maybe you should read for a while." It takes a man with a lot of patience and understanding to marry someone as.....strange....as myself.

I highly recommend you all to take a journey as we did. You will get beautiful scenery, fun adventures, exquisite dining and romance, and above all--Excellent people-watching opportunities!

5 comments:

Abby and Ryan said...

Okay, so I read this to Ryan after posting. And he was a little disappointed in me...and thinks I needed to make a clarification. I may have exaggerated a bit.

There were probably only about 5-6 sets of topless middle-agers around the resort. I just seemed like more, and very overwhelming.

I tend to exaggerate and get dramatic at times. Apologies for my inaccuracy! ;)

Marlys said...

You - exaggerate? Ha Ha!
I can only imagine how you felt, though, being raised the way you were! I have to agree that it would have been disgusting! Modesty is still the way to go!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Ha! That is hilarious!!! And gross!!

I could never do the topless beach thing. I am way too modest for that!

B and B said...

So are you saying there were no topless sunbathers around the swimming pool at Chahinkapa Park in Wahpeton? Funny observations, Abby. How come no pictures? :)

Mama Nastase said...

Wow, Abby! I don't consider myself sheltered but I would have been shocked/surprised by the topless sun-bathing, too! I would have been uncomfortable, as well.

Tell Ryan that you are allowed to take artistic license when telling a story! A little exaggeration makes things more interesting. ;)

P.s.-Love the picture of the Magda-tan!