Friday, August 6, 2010

Pest Control

It all started last Saturday.........

There is thing that lives in our garage. I call it a black hole. But really, it's a 1979 Honda motorcycle. I shouldn't be negative about it,-- it provided transportation to get ice cream on our 1st date ever.

Why do I hate it? Because it doesn't run. It just sits there. And takes up space. And we have moved it 3 TIMES!!!!!!

But, it's become Ryan's hobby. It's like clockwork. Every 3 months, he gets this inspiration on a Saturday morning after a few too many cups of coffee and says, "I'm going to work on rennovating the bike today".

Iy-yi-yi.....

So he spends the day working on it with the garage open, I clean the house and bake, bring him iced tea, and he take multiple trips to the hardware store. We're such an American married couple...

So Sunday morning rolls around. And we are leaving the house for church....

And we see little black "pellets" all over the ground.....

Now we know this hasn't been ongoing. We run a tight ship and our garage was clean the prior day.

So after mass that morning, we set out on a mission: "Operation Kill Mickey":
  • 8 mouse traps
  • Laced them with peanut butter
  • Strategically placed rat/mouse poisoning in areas throughout the garage
  • And closed off all doors to assure defeat
Monday came and I had school things in the morning - Ryan was off to work. I got home, and I was quietly working on some homework -- when I hear a furocious *snap*!!!

I immediately call Ryan's work phone. Not his cell phone, his work phone - for this is an emergent situation. He get's on the phone, and I say, in a trembling voice "I heard a loud snap. What do I do? I think we got something!!! I don't have to touch it, do I?!?"

He paused.....and said, "You don't have to touch anything. Just wait for me to get home. I'll take care of it" (in such a manly, "I'll fix it" kind of voice...)


He gets home, and goes straight to the garage....to find that the critter had eaten all the peanut butter off every trap, knocked over the dishes of poisoning, and even managed to move one of the traps.

What kind of monster is this? It must be big and evil. It must be a genius with a will to kill. It surely must have opposable thumbs.....


We don't even mess with this beast. Within 5 seconds my thumbs are dialing the number for Truly Nolen Pest Control.

And within 20 minutes his car pulls up. The man gets out, all sweaty (like he's been killing pests all day....) rigged out with the thickest southern accent.


Mr. Pest Control kind of laughs when he enters the garage, and says: "That ain't no mouse you're dealing with my friends. That there's Pack Rat Poop"

Ewww! Slimey rats?!!

He and Ryan spend a good 2 1/2 hours analyzing the problem and setting up a "Plan of Attack"

So we get our glue boards set up, any house-structural issues fixed - and we are ready for "Pack Rat Attack"

Now, it's Tuesday and I'm off to clinicals for the day. I come home at 8:30 pm after a long day to find the garage absolutely torn to pieces.

Every box has moved. Even the washing machine and dryer are moved.

OH. My. Word.

I enter the house, and Ryan is on the couch: red-faced, sweating, and out of breath.

What happened to you, Ryan?
What was this terrible, evil, blood-thirsty beast in our garage?!!??!!??
Did it hurt you?

He says, "I've been chasing the damn thing around for the past 45 minutes. That damn thing is tactical, tricky, and smart."

What is this beast..............................?


It was a "wittle bunny wabbit!"

So now, I feel compelled to refer to my husband Ryan as Elmer Fudd.


We did get rid of the beastly little bunny. And canceled our "Pest Control".

Oh, what a strange week this has been!

But after my ATI test this morning - we are off to Star Pass for a getaway to celebrate our Anniversary!!

4 comments:

B and B said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ! Did I ever tell you our possum in the garage story? Ewww....

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Seriously??? Oh my gosh. Hilarious. Oh you make me laugh, Abby.

Enjoy your weekend w/ Elmer Fudd...

Marlys said...

Thanks for starting my day with a hearty laugh! Even though I knew the end of the story, I laughed outloud! Barb, I have not heard about the possum story yet! We had racoons in our garage which turned out to be a true battle of the wills, but we ended up being victorious!

Julie said...

That is so funny. I would of died knowing there was a rat in our garage or anywhere in the general area of our house. I am so happy it was just a rabbit. I never knew rabbits like peanut butter. :)