Saturday, August 10, 2013

Happy Anniversary to Us! And my thoughts on happy marriages.

Happy Anniversary to Us!!!! 4 Years!

That's a picture of us having FUN at Canyon Lake last weekend. Hair is down, big smiles, sun-tanned.....having a good time! This school that Ryan has been in has been a little on the intense side, and this is the first time in about a month that we've really gone out and "let our hair down". We went with another couple, rented canoes, brought a cooler of beer, tied our canoes together, and wasted the afternoon away. It was glorious.

Actually, we didn't "tie" the canoes together. Our men, being the manly men they are, fashioned ropes out of the life jackets and McGuever'ed a way to strap the 2 canoes together. It actually worked out well, because the force of the 2 made it impossible for them to tip over!

Anyways, back to Anniversary. Instead of making this into a post where I profess my unconditional, heart-filled love for Ryan (which does persist strongly) -- I'm going to take about what I feel are the important ingredients to a good team.

You know, because we are pretty much old and wise by this point. We are experts on marriage, in fact. With all 4 years of the vows under our belt! (*insert sarcastic and cute smile here*)

  1. Never lose "the look". See that picture above? That was our "First Look" from our wedding day. Don't lose that.
  2. There are going to be times where one partner is on top of the world (ie career, family life, personal goals) and the other person maybe isn't the most happy about their career, personal goals, ect. Learn to accept that, and be happy and supportive for each other. Remember, when you're married you're a team and one person cannot be successful in their career/life without the other
  3. On that note, be their #1 fan. There may be long Saturday afternoons he studies and I read @ coffee shop with a smile on my face (when really I want to be on the beach in Corpus 2 hours away). But I know my support plays a large role in his success!
  4. It is impossible to be 100% happy 24/7 with each other. There are going to be rougher times. Don't dwell on it
    • Example: When Ryan got back from his last school, and we had been living in different states for about 4-5 months - it was not all rainbows & sunshine his 1st week back. It was not as blissful as we envisioned it. We had to re-adjust to living among each other again, in addition to it being a stressful time. It took a few days to figure out our rhythm of life again. And by day Day 4, we were back! The moment I accepted that "hey, this is an adjustment, it is temporary" -- the transition was so easy!
  5. Have your own individual hobbies. Relish that personal time. It's important for your growth.
  6. It is impossible to live with someone for so many years, and not change. Know you are both going to change - but learn to change together.
  7. Be silly. Carefree laughter in each others company is survival tactics, especially in a stressful life.
  8. Operate like a business. You are a team. Establish your roles. Make schedules. Pencil in time for productivity (housework, yardwork). Schedule time for 1:1 dates. Schedule time to talk finances. It's okay to have a "VP of Finances" in a marriage -- especially if that is their strong quality.
  9. Don't forget to tell that person you love them, and that you think their beautiful and wonderful and smart. Humans innately need to hear positive feedback - it makes us feel good. Love yourself, love your partner, and speak it.
  10. Learn to make where-ever you may be "home". So far....We have moved away from our family and friends twice now, we have lived in a house we love, we have lived in a dark depressing hotel room, we have lived in separate states where Ryan couldn't call/text. Wherever we have been, I'm still happy to come home at the day's end. Not because of the physical place - but because Home = Us.
"If I get married, I want to be very married." -Audrey Hepburn 


Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Happy Anniversary! I am glad you guys got a chance to celebrate. I know life is crazy these day, and the year behind you and the one to come probably have had/will have lots of stressful moments but you two seem to have it all figured out and know how to make it work! It's hard to believe it's already been 4 years!

Marlys said...

That was so beautiful and honest, and did I say beautiful? I know these past months and the months to come will be stressful for you both, but am happy you acknowledge that and can see beyond the present moment. Being together at the end of the day is "home"! Love to you both!