Thursday, January 23, 2014

Rant Time: Why do we have 500 lbs worth of survival food?

It has been a long time since I've ranted! To be honest, I could probably throw down a rant weekly. But I worry way too much about offending others.  So I bite my tongue.

My rant is not an angry rant. I rant with love. But if you would've asked me "how I feel" come 9:30 pm last night? You may have received a different answer.

As I always do prior to any is my disclaimer:
**I love my husband. I don't think this even needs to be explained. You all know I'm head over heels for this guy! But sometimes, husbands do things to make us a little crazy. As do I create the same feelings to him.**

 Where do I begin? It was a few weeks ago, my husband came home from work a little later than normal. I asked about his day, and his initial response was an inquiry about how I feel about backpacking.


"Well, Ryan, I think backpacking seems pretty cool! Why do you ask?"

He had stopped at REI to get sized for a backpack on his way home from work. And then he non-chalantly slipped into the conversation..."So I found this package online for survival food. You know, the freeze-dried food. In case of an emergency where we were to run out of power? If we don't use it in an emergency, we can use it for backpacking."

Er...Okay. So like MRE's? Aren't you in the military? Can't you know, pick them up? Or could we get a bunch of cliff bars? I like those! They're delicious. I like chocolate mint.

Somehow, he convinced me into it. He got the boss's blessing. And placed the order.

Then he left for pilot school. Prior to his departure, he told me, "Make sure you're watching the mail, and for packages on the front door."

So I did.

And then I came home from work last night. There were 6 "moving-sized"(aka ginormous!!!!) boxes in front of our garage! Which means, UPS guy couldn't even handle carrying them up to our front door.

I discovered these after a long day of work & a gym session. All I could do was laugh, and push them into the garage. My work was done. Some of them were lift-able. Some of there were crazy-freaking-heavy.

Then came my phone date with my husband at about 9 pm. This conversation took place in my bed, in my pj's, book in my lap, face already washed, teeth already brushed, ready for bed!

I made the mistake of saying, "Oh, hey! Your food showed up! *LOL..uncontrollable giggling* Are we going backpacking in Antartica? For 5 years???!!!"

Ryan: "Oh, great! You brought it inside, right?"
Me: ".........."
Ryan: "Abby? You brought it inside?"
Me: "Err....inside the garage, yes! Yes I did!"
Ryan: "No, no, no! These are temperature sensitive. They need to be inside. They cannot handle fluctuating temps."
*cue Abby's b**ch switch*
Me: "Well! I can't handle getting out of bed right now to push some stupid survival food into the house"

When you live in a different state than your significant other, the last thing you want to do is spend precious phone time bickering about silly issues! One must pick battles, bite their lip, count their blessings, and move on.

So out of bed I went. I put my slippers on. And out to the garage I went and pushed the boxes into the house 1 at a time. Using every swear-word in my vocabulary.

After I completed the task, I called him back - and we made up and laughed.

But when I woke up at 0500 this morning, and stubbed my toe on one of those survival food you think I was laughing??

In the end, I appreciate his great efforts for being prepared. I also appreciate that he is getting us ready to embark on a new adventure! I can laugh about it all. Sometimes men just do things that make me say "Hm.."

So if anyone approaches a zombie apocalypse or goes on a 5 month back-packing trip? I'm your girl! Or...if you know anyone who needs some massive moving boxes.......


Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Oh man, that is so much food. I saw the pic on facebook and my jaw dropped! You guys could be on that doomsday show now where people prepare for the end of the world! ;) I am glad you took it in stride and didn't let it impact your phone call too much. I would have been SUPER annoyed, too!

Marlys said...

Oh, I am laughing out loud right now! That is just too funny, but I can appreciate how you felt! So, where are you going to store them as I know you don't have a basement? Just wondering!

Barb Geier said...

This is one of the funniest things I have EVER read...

Anonymous said...

Hey now! You do know I read your blog don't you? Haha! I love you Abby, Thanks for putting up with my super survival skills! ;)