Thursday, February 12, 2015

Rant Time on the phrase "Just wait until you have kids..."

We all know how unpleasant I find it, when people make the constant remark of "Are you pregnant?". I'm pretty sure this one has come up in rants' past. But just a refresher:

  • Just because you are at childbearing age, it is possible to be tired - and not be with child.
  • Just because you are at childbearing age, it is possible to be nauseated - and not be with child.
  • Just because you are at childbearing age, it is possible to lose your keys - and not be with child.
  • Just because you are at childbearing age, it is possible to not want a glass of wine - and not be with child.
  • Just because you are childbearing age, and you have any one symptom - it doesn't mean you're frigging pregnant!!

Now that we have that cleared up. :)

Here's the other comment I find almost on a daily basis. (when I'm not being asked when I'm planning on getting pregnant, or why I don't have kids yet, and when am I going to have kids...)

"Just wait until you have kids"

Allow me to use this in a sentence, to clarify.

Me: "Wow, I did not sleep well last night! I need extra coffee this morning"
Person: "Just wait until you have kids! Then you'll really be tired!"

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you had to have children in order to feel tired. I guess I'm not tired. I wonder what I was feeling when I worked night shift, and I would go 30+ hours without sleep? Hm. Couldn't have been tired, since I didn't have children!

Me: "That was an expensive grocery bill."
Person: "You think it's bad now? Just wait until you have kids!!"

Oh, do they price groceries different for people who have children? I had no idea! Yes, I realize that there are more people to buy food for when you have children, but still. Shut. Up.

Me: "Wow! I can't believe it's the end of the month already. Where does the time go?"
Person: "You think times flies now? Wait until you have kids!"

Holy crap. I've been wrong. Time just passes in slow motion. Basically nothing happens until you have kids. You're bursting at the seems with extra income, extra time, and you're so well rested!

Don't get me wrong. I give major props to all the Mom's and Dad's out there! But it is possible to have a busy life, and not have children. Because instead of that time spent tending to your children, you're finding other things to involve yourself in. Priorities are different.

Remember when you felt busy before you had kids? You were involving your time and soul into different things...

When the day comes that Ryan and I have children.....I am going to make a strong, conscious decision to NEVER respond with the "Just wait until you have kids!" comment. It's inconsiderate. I'm so sick of hearing parents (not all, but there is a large number of them out there), who complain about how difficult life is with kids.

I feel like I'm constantly listening to this broken records that states, "Once you have children, you're going to have no freedom. You won't have a relationship with your husband anymore. You're going to gain so much weight! Say goodbye to running! Say goodbye to your clean house! Say goodbye to all your hobbies! Children are going to change everything."

Children are a gift. It's a challenge. Being a parent changes your life. Get over it - stop ruining it for the people who have yet to call themselves a parent! (And remember, there are people in this world who may never be able to have children. So constantly waving that dream in their face is not helpful.) This rant is not pointed any one person. I think we all have encountered this type of negativity at some point in our lives. It's just something to ponder...


Marlys said...

Wow, your German ire was up! I am so glad you said that children are a blessing, because they are. And they grow up so fast, and the years we have them under our roof are the most precious years of all!
I also get irritated when people complain about being pregnant! I miss those days of just being in awe of the gift of a child growing in my womb! It does come with sacrifice but so miraculous that it gives me goose bumps!
Hang in there!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

This is something I actually struggle with because most of my friends have kids and I don't feel like I am entitled to say I am busy or overwhelmed or tired because even if people don't say it, I feel like they are thinking 'just wait until you have kids.' I have no idea what it will be like when/if I have kids but I definitely will not be the person saying 'just wait until you have kids'. Except I won't have anyone to say that to because there likely won't be anyone who doesn't have kids by the time I have them. Ha.

Amber said...

Oh I hear you on this one! I get it ALL THE TIME. Especially as more and more of my friends start to have kids and start families. It's so annoying!