Once upon a time, I was a little girl who had all these dreams. But then life got sort of comfortable.
College was really quite easy for me. Then I got into the career - and there were moments where I obviously struggled and said "This is REALLY hard", and perhaps I would come home some nights shedding a few tears because nursing can suck.
But the reality I found is -- as long as I worked a little harder than those around me -- it was pretty easy to advance and be known as a top performer.
So why go to grad school? Why become a Nurse Practitioner like I originally planned? Why not just sail through my career - stay comfortable - accept the opportunities I find - and just enjoy life?
The past few months have been kind of a struggle for me mentally. I work 40 hours a week. And life is busy! But my brain is feeling a little, well, under-used. (I don't even think "under-used" is a word. See?? I'm turning to mush!!)
There is this voice inside me saying "But it's so convenient! Suck it up. You work from home. Don't blow this".
But then there's that little girl that had big dreams and aspirations saying "Don't do what's easy! Do what makes you proud and happy."
Yes, I am admitting to voices in my head. ;) Voices that run through my head at 3 in the morning lately when I cannot sleep.
I kind of have been feeling as though "Abby" has lost her spirit lately. I've lost touch of my "go get 'em" attitude, and have become the girl that constantly chooses what is most convenient.
So after much research, and interviewing many different people....I have decided to rekindle my original dream of becoming a Nurse Practitioner!
So although it isn't going to be easy, I'm doing it. I have learned after much reflection that me as a person doesn't do so "great" when I'm not challenged enough. I thrive when I'm overwhelmed and busy. And this work-from-home job, although convenient, is just not giving me what I desire.
(You can say it....I probably sound like a millennial right now. I'll own it. But just so you all know, I am actually NOT a Millennial. I am a Generation Y.
To make the choice of getting my masters degrees, I looked into:
-cost of school
-reviews of school (these are obvious ones)
-length of school
-amount of hours of clinicals and classroom time
-average cost of daycare in your city
-a conversation with your spouse about putting kids in daycare
-how much of a maternity leave would I like to take if we were to have children, as that may affect my entrance into my career field or my schooling
-we don't even have kids and are not even close to having kids
-just submit your application and stop overthinking things already
I have to admit, and this is just between the girls...I am envious of the man in my life who kind of gets to look at a goal and go for it. And doesn't really blink an eye about the 1000 other "what-if's".
So here I go - applying to schools! My goal is to start in January. One of the schools I've already been accepted into has a waiting list, so I'm not guaranteed to begin in January.
I am so grateful for my work-from-home job with East Coast hours, where I am able to work from 6-2 or 7-3. This will give me the flexibility to spend my evenings studying - and still give me a little quality of life/sanity!
For the second time in 2016, I'm making a big decision and feel really at peace with it! (Decision #1 was to stay in Tucson after we sold our house, moved into an apartment, shipped our dog across the country, and I changed jobs. ).