ABC

Dear B.S.,

This may be one of my more crude letters to you. But realize your mama has sort of a blunt/dry sense of humor. I was also an ER nurse in a different life - and we can be a tainted breed. But I promise this is all in good fun.  I call you "B.S." in this letter because I cannot count how many times in the past 6 weeks I have muttered "this is bullshit!", as I lay on our couch curled up in a ball with the room spinning, while your dad enjoys a plate of tacos and a crisp, cold IPA. 

One of the most prominent "joys" of pregnancy I have been blessed with is 24/7 nausea. I call 8pm my "witching hour" lately. Around that time I find myself laying down with my mouth filling with saliva, trying all sorts of strange positions to lay in that may help relieve my nausea. And then I run to the toilet and hover over it taking audible, dramatic deep breaths for a long period of time. 

Some day I will show you a movie about a little lady name "Emily Rose", and you will get a nice visual of what your mama looked like, and why she calls it the "witching hour". I am sure you'll get a good laugh.

I wish 8pm-4am were the only hours I am taken over by nausea, but unfortunately, this symptom stays with me intermittently throughout the day. But as many times I've recreated the scenes from The Exorcism of Emily Rose...I also feel a strange sense of relief every time I feel my saltine crackers coming back up my esophagus. I think that's your way of telling me you're growing and healthy :)

I also would like to extend my gratitude, as you are preparing me for the sleepless years of infancy. You must be a planner like your Dad. I also appreicate that you do give me a little window from about 5am-12pm where I seem to feel relief, so I can run, shower, and get my work day rolling. If you could come up with a new way of communicating, that would be much appreciated, Sweet Sebastian. :)

And LORD the advice. Please. I have tried ginger tea, peppermint tea, prenatal tea (this has to be the good sh!t, right?), ginger lozenges, anti-nausea lozenges, Tums, lemon, saltine crackers, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B6+Unisom, acupressure to my wrist, cold fruit, meditation, praying, and Gatorade. Unfortunately...nothing seems to provide relief. So we will just get through the next few weeks and appreciate the days when I am feeling better.

But believe me - You are worth it, little one! And I also realize that there will likely come a day when you are a teenager where I may even pine for the "easy days" when I just felt like puking all the time. 

In the meantime, I hope you like Saltines, lemons, toast, and pasta. Asthose are staples in our diet these days. ;) I promise you're Mama is a much better cook than this.

With Love,

Clammy and Green