Dear Baby Namaste,
I can remember a handful of times in my life where I would upset or let down my Mom or cause worry, and I would get frustrated that she was "in my business". And my Mom would respond and tell me, "Until I have a child of my own, I'll never be able to understand the love and worry a mother's heart feels."
As I got older and started thinking about having a family - I still didn't quite "get" it.
And as things have progressed in my pregnancy and I got to see all your perfectly developed organs on the anatomy scan last week, I think it started to click. Nothing in this entire world matters more to me than knowing that you are healthy and growing. And I have not even met you yet!
Every time I feel a little twitch in my stomach right now of your little feet fluttering, my heart swells to know that you're there and alive.
I wonder if you can hear me talking about you with your Dad, and how excited we are for life with you. I wonder if you feel me put my hand on my stomach as the closest thing to a hug I can give you right now. Can you hear your dad some mornings when he puts his head on my stomach and says "Good morning, sweet Maddy. I love you!"?
While I have had a lot of moments in pregnancy that I haven't loved (i.e. vomiting my brains out at 2 am every night for several weeks) or trying to navigate doing my 8 weeks of grad school practicum, while VERY pregnant, while working 40 hours a week, in a hospital, during a pandemic.... :D (your mama is crazy)
But those discomforts are heavily overshadowed by the excitement of bringing you into this world and getting to be your mama! I cannot quantify how much energy I put into hoping you are healthy, hoping I can be a good mom to you, and hoping you're a happy child.
That's all.
Sincerely,
Over The Moon
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