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A Letter to You

 Dear Baby Namaste,

I can remember a handful of times in my life where I would upset or let down my Mom or cause worry, and I would get frustrated that she was "in my business". And my Mom would respond and tell me, "Until I have a child of my own, I'll never be able to understand the love and worry a mother's heart feels."

As I got older and started thinking about having a family - I still didn't quite "get" it. 

And as things have progressed in my pregnancy and I got to see all your perfectly developed organs on the anatomy scan last week, I think it started to click. Nothing in this entire world matters more to me than knowing that you are healthy and growing. And I have not even met you yet! 

Every time I feel a little twitch in my stomach right now of your little feet fluttering, my heart swells to know that you're there and alive. 

I wonder if you can hear me talking about you with your Dad, and how excited we are for life with you. I wonder if you feel me put my hand on my stomach as the closest thing to a hug I can give you right now. Can you hear your dad some mornings when he puts his head on my stomach and says "Good morning, sweet Maddy. I love you!"? 

While I have had a lot of moments in pregnancy that I haven't loved (i.e. vomiting my brains out at 2 am every night for several weeks) or trying to navigate doing my 8 weeks of grad school practicum, while VERY pregnant, while working 40 hours a week, in a hospital, during a pandemic.... :D (your mama is crazy)

But those discomforts are heavily overshadowed by the excitement of bringing you into this world and getting to be your mama! I cannot quantify how much energy I put into hoping you are healthy, hoping I can be a good mom to you, and hoping you're a happy child. 


That's all.

Sincerely,

Over The Moon

Comments

Lisa's Yarns said…
Aww, this is such a sweet post. Baby Maddy is lucky to have such wonderful, caring parents! Believe me when I say all the hard stuff in pregnancy is all worth it in the end! I hope the 2nd half of pregnancy is less hard/more enjoyable - and that it goes by fairly quickly! I think it will given how busy you'll be with grad school stuff!
October 6, 2020 at 8:25 AM
Marlys said…
I’m so slow to respond but that was a beautiful post, so heartfelt and touching. It brought tears to my eyes! The love one has for their child is something one can’t describe, and believe me, when you hold her in your arms the first time, you will not believe the overwhelming love your heart is filled with! I pray for my two little grandchildren daily and m so thankful to become grandparents two more times in the near future, but actually am grandparents already to them as they truly are “ in the world” nestled in the safest place a child can be!
October 18, 2020 at 10:38 AM
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