Weaned

 One of the things I really wanted to get down in writing was a post about weaning, as I've been feeling all the feels this week as she hit this "milestone". 

I know I've alluded to this in the past on this blog, but breastfeeding was not easy for me in the beginning. We spent about 3 weeks of her not actually transferring enough milk (I had no idea), her becoming quite underweight, introducing formula & pumped milk in bottles, and then having weeks of her literally screaming at my breast and refusing to latch.

Alas around 7 weeks we got the right help from a IBCLC in town - and finally by the time Maddy was about 10 weeks old she was exclusively breastfeeding. We had to use a system called an SNS (supplemental nursing system) - where you use a tiny syringe, fill it with milk, tape the catheter to your breast, and slip it in their mouth while you attempt to latch them. It is tedious & messy - but it is extremely beneficial in teaching them how to nurse. 

I would offer my breast every 2 hours, and I pumped every 3 hours for several weeks around the clock. Looking back - those were some rough weeks with a lot of tears. But it was worth it.  

I didn't think we would make it to 3 months - so when Maddy turned 1 year and was still breastfeeding I felt like we had crossed somewhat of a finish line. But I also had no idea when she would be ready to wean. Being I'm with her like ALL the time - she's gotten to be quite attached to me. 

We arrived to San Diego Saturday afternoon, I nursed her before bed and unknowingly, at the time,  that was the last time I've breastfeed our babe. 

She woke up Sunday morning (she was sleeping in the pack n play in our bedroom since we are on vacation) - and got into bed with me to cuddle for a bit, but never asked for milk. And that was sort of it! (we had been down to just morning and night)

I realize this is the 1st of many milestones as a Mom where you get that little hole in your heart of "they don't need me anymore". I'm also ecstatic that I can wear whatever dress I want and I can drink all the coffee!!!!!

I'm so grateful I was able to provide for her this long and I hold a special place in my heart all the cuddles and late night sessions of nursing her when the world was so quiet. I do worry a little that she isn't drinking milk in any other form - but I will keep offering and just make sure to load her up on all the cheese & yogurt I can. 

I guess our little babe is growing!! This was a picture of her taken Saturday when we got to San Diego and she started picking up flowers and handing them to Ryan & I saying "dowders?" <3 She sure has our heart...